One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
