Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
