our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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