Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i drank out of a bidet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
