I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
only you would photoshop your dick
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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