Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
