"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
