i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
