Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
