The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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