P.S. I can't hear my feet
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
