I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
God I need to hump something, right now.
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