Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
