it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
