What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
