its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
