Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
vagina is talking i cant
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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