I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
