I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
