I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
