Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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