Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just found a bag of teeth...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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