somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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