What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
