I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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