clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
