About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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