The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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