After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
