Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
