just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
