I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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