We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
