Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
