I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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