We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
