I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Two words: blizzard sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
