where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
