You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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