it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Two words: nipple clamps
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