NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
