so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
