i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
