At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
