He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
