i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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