the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
