you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
