And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
