Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
